Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The feelings I began to experience include: a lack of sleep, decreased energy, worthlessness, even guilt; difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions; there were even thoughts of death and suicidal ideation. Mostly, I was sad! Sad because I was grieving at the loss of losing all our friends and close relationships with the leadership. This made me sad. It felt so permanent. The excitement of a new venture was swallowed up in this word, DEPRESSION. I was depressed and there was no way out of this pit trying to climb out in my own strength. Even my cries for help in the forest next to my daughter’s house fell on deaf ears.
So now on my very first blog I have made you depressed. If I go on like this, I stand to lose you as an electronic friend that I actually need right now. Therefore let me console you with two things as I close this first attempt to share meaningful and ‘gut level’ thoughts with you.